Patricia Garry

Watching All the Runners Go By

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One of the most pleasant things about living right on the edge of Eden Park (in addition to living in a Matisse, and looking out on a different picture each morning) is people watching, especially when there is a race going by.

Saturday was the Queen Bee, which several friends have since let me know they were running in. It’s a half-marathon, with tons of smaller races organized in it. And it’s the first one I’ve seen where the racers did not go around the overlook, but stayed on Victory Parkway – so I got to watch the tables for cups of water being set up, empty cups flung down as they were finished (and then tables down and everything cleaned up at the end), got to watch the sawhorses and traffic cones being put into place, the police officers beginning to direct traffic – everything from beginning to end.

It was a perfect day, nice and cool, with lots of variety in what the runners were wearing, mostly women with some guys, everybody happy. Cincinnati has so much variety, so many things to do – and all without being as crowded and expensive as many places.

Keep it going, racers!

Sending Danny to Charlotte

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Last night, as I was settling into ‘my’ couch at MillerGardette, preparing for the City Silence meditation, I took one last look at my phone, and saw that the protester who had been shot, perhaps by another civilian, in Charlotte on Wednesday night, had just died.

As Kathryne was telling us to take a gentle breath and the Silence began, I sent my son Danny, who left the planet on June 12 of this year, to Charlotte to welcome this man, this protester, to heaven / the other side / the place of recalling and the place of new beginnings. The feeling that prompted my sending Danny was my understanding that many folks arrive, particularly when death is sudden and violent, in a confused state – and that Danny’s sturdy and gentle presence could help ease his transition.

The bare details in the New York Times this morning are that his name was Justin Carr and that he was 26. You are in a place of love, openness and forgiveness, Justin. All is well. And thank you, Danny, so much, for being with Justin – and with me. xoxox

The Election / The Polls / My Pendulums

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Hillary has been losing ground and The Donald has been gaining. I think this must mean the entire country is going berserk. My mind cannot understand why this is so otherwise.

The chances, on fivethirtyeight.com, which so accurately called the 2012 election, are still more than 59% that Hillary will win, which is a good thing. And my pendulums, whether at the office or here at home, or in the car, are all enthusiastically saying that Hillary will take it. I just checked with the meterorite pendulum in my desk drawer here at home, and it speeds up in favor of yes, bouncing as it replies in the positive.

So my positivity is suggesting I just relax, and await those good results. I’m going to practice that as I head to the neighborhood meditation, City Silence, in a few minutes. And I’m going to watch the debate on Monday night with those folks, too. All good karma. : >

My Jane Addiction

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I first wrote about My Jane Austen Craze with a blog post on May 30 of this year, 2016. I recounted my misunderstanding of Jane’s work and writing – and that I had just read Curtis Sittenfeld’s Eligible (a modern re-telling of Pride and Prejudice) straight through – twice. And had then gone to the library to pick up the P.D. James mystery based on P & P, Death Comes to Pemberley. Little did I know at that time what I was in for!

I had also not read a word of Jane’s actual writing. I had seen two plays at the Cincinnati Shakespeare based on two of her books – Pride and Prejudice, and Sense and Sensibility, over the last several seasons. I have a vague recollection of seeing a movie some years back called Mansfield Park, which I’ve only discovered is a Jane book. Also, since one of my great pleasures at the holidays is just to read mysteries of the particular season (be it Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s, Thanksgiving or Halloween), I had read Stephanie Barron’s Jane and The Twelve Days of Christmas. Which I then gave away the following year as a present. That likely wouldn’t happen now. Unless and until this condition has abated.

Since May 30, my extremely busy self, also coping with family tragedy, delight, and more tragedy, has managed to read a book (also made into a movie, which I have not seen) called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; read Jane Austen Made Me Do It – Original Stories Inspired by Literature’s Most Astute Observer of the Human Heart, edited by Laurel Ann Nattress; read eleven more of Stephanie Barron’s mysteries with Jane Austen as the detective (the most recent and currently last one is on my bedside table); and three of Jane’s six books (just finished Persuasion last night).

And now, I am facing the end of this journey. Jane and the Waterloo Map was just published, with a lapse of several years since the last one – and Stephanie Barron has wandered off to write a mystery about Queen Victoria, among other work – besides which, her series, which mirrors Jane’s life and travels, is running out of available time, since the most recent book is set in November of 1815, and Jane left the planet in July of 1817. Only a year and a half to go.

And I have a mere 3 of Jane’s books left – Mansfield Park, Emma (which I’ve read an Alexander McCall Smith re-telling of) and Sense and Sensibility.

I have no idea how this addiction ends, but somehow I don’t see myself reading all the pastiches and parodies, short stories, science fiction, books about Vampire Jane and other works based on hers. I may just have to go cold turkey.

Wish me luck!

Book Review: Jane and the Canterbury Tale

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This is the eleventh of Stephanie Barron’s mysteries featuring Jane Austen as the detective. These books are meticulous – carefully placed where Jane actually was during the months and year of the setting, often bringing in historic figures, and remaining true to the ethos of Edwardian England – the early 1800s.

This mystery is set in Kent, where her brother Edward’s beautiful home, Godmersham Park, was actually located, very near the actual road which pilgrims to Canterbury traveled then and still, and which Chaucer re-created so brilliantly for us all those long years ago. The action in the book goes back and forth, between Godmersham and a neighborly manor house, Chillham, with the road to Canterbury in between.

The book opens with a wedding, from which proceeds all the problems, confusion and deaths which it becomes Jane’s task to solve. This is a wonderful soap opera and horror story of a novel, which is at one and the same time an excellent mystery. I’ll not give you more information – it is too much fun to dive into this book – and the entire series – for yourself.

There is not much more yet to go of Jane before I reach an end. There is also a Christmas Jane mystery – The 12 Days of Christmas, which I read several years ago, before my Jane addiction struck with full force, that I plan to read again this Christmas. And the most recent mysterious Jane has just been published – Jane and the Waterloo Map, based on an event right after the Battle of Waterloo. I’m going to dig into it later on this evening, right after I finish Persuasion, the third of Jane’s 6 novels. I will have finished the other three before Thanksgiving, or perhaps Halloween. And then what will I do? Perhaps I’ll read Curtis Sittenfeld’s Elegible for the 4th time!

Changing Your Mind for Better Health

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In a conversation with a friend of mine last week, I realized she had the conventional belief system about health, and that therefore her health probably would not rise to be better than her expectations. She would need several different kinds of medicines and treatments to maintain a reasonable level of health, and the whole medical establishment to provide those treatments. There are some changes she can make for herself, but mainly, in her belief, her health depends on others.

She knows, for instance, that knees and hips wear out and have to be replaced. She knows that genetics is extremely determinant in what diseases we get, who we are and what we can do. She pretty much feels, with most of the country, that without the medical system, we all would be sick much of the time. And as we age, we can expect to be sicker.

I am just not able to be there. My belief is that my health largely depends on my choices and behaviors, not those of others. And I don’t actually believe in the benevolence of the medical system. It exists to serve itself – to employ folks who feel a need to be useful to others, to work hard at research into more and more arcane possibilities, to pat people on the head and say – ‘If you do this we can save you’ or, later, ‘I am sorry, there is nothing more we can do, and here is what you are facing.’

And, largely, when life has been spent eating American food while couch potatoing, the only thing that can be done is to make a radical change at that end – what we eat, what we talk about, how we move, what we think, how we provide love and nourishment to our bodies and minds. Often too late to make those moves, but they can make the end better.

In my belief / experience system, I find that eating low on the food chain, and the cleanest food possible, is the best medicine. Moving around – yoga, walking, running, standing while working – not only brings joy / mood elevation – but keeps the body happy and limber as well. My medicine is vitamins, especially the Bs and C, herbs, spices like turmeric. I consult Prescription for Nutritional Healing and Heal Your Body for ideas and possibilities, and then pay attention when my intuition nudges me one way or another.

But mainly and importantly, I look at the out-of-balance symptom my body is presenting, and walk meditatively with it, asking what it is trying to tell / teach me, what lesson is there for me to learn. I don’t argue with that symptom, or try to ignore it (usually) – I accept it, pay attention to it, learn more about it, and what various resources tell me about it – including google and perhaps wiki.

I am careful not to adopt it, name it as part of my self-definition, make it a permanent part of myself. I visualize my life totally without whatever the symptom, and smile at those images. I love myself in any case, and appreciate my body – its strength, its beauty – and affirm those qualities. My self-care includes putting myself first on my priority list, giving myself treats and presents, making myself happy – often by helping and giving to others, of course, because there is such joy in that.

Health is much more in our hands than we often believe. Trusting ourselves, staying calm and peaceful, using medical and spiritual resources as needed, moving along step by step, we can get better and stay better. And always have more fun!

Further Travails

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Danny’s Foot

My other two sons and I, plus their father (who actually was there a week longer), spent a week in DC’s Prince Georges Hospital, mostly in the Critical Care waiting room, after Dan’s accident. On our second last day, Dan was moved upstairs to a sort of step down unit. The waiting room was worse, but the hospital room gave us more time and privacy. We had been talking to Danny all the time, but now there was not a room full of folk and tons of equipment around.

Brian and I were starting conversations with him – Bri noticed Dan’s left foot moving, and started asking questions about a plumbing problem he had been working on. Dan was signalling yes with his left foot, so Bri switched to yes / no questions. After that problem was solved, I started telling Dan about the new baby arriving soon in the family – Patrick and Annie were expecting a baby boy, to be named August Patrick McNamara, in the next few days. I said to Dan ‘Of course, you don’t know Annie.’ His foot became very agitated, and I realized he did know Annie – he had met her the year before at Patrick’s college graduation celebration. When I said that, Dan answered with a very emphatic and strong Yes movement of his foot. That afternoon left us very hopeful.

Dan’s Planet Leaving

Dan had been in the hospital exactly 4 weeks, minus 4 hours, and was each day showing more signs of waking up. Moving his head toward the speaker, opening his eyes on command, seeming to track conversations. He had had another and final surgery on his leg, his other physical wounds were healing fast, he was mostly off the ventilator, had a stomach tube for feeding, and a tracheotomy for breathing, so he did not have all that apparatus around his neck and face.

Donna was researching rehab centers, and we were making plans to return to DC, expecting a long rehab therapy program for Dan. Sunday morning, June 12, right about noon, Danny, still in a coma, reached up to his throat – probably a tickle or the feeling of a cough – and pulled out his trach. The staff could not get it back in. And just like that, our beloved Danny was gone from the planet.

It was awful – and even more awful having to tell folk. I really appreciated Facebook for making it faster and easier.

Danny’s Memorial Service

Danny’s Memorial was held just outside of northeast DC where he lived (Riverside, College Park, Cheverley, Lanham) on Saturday, June 25. The night before, most of Donna’s family and those of us from Cincinnati, had dinner at one of Dan’s favorite places, and the lunch following the service was at another such place, where Kyle’s college graduation celebration had been held.

Danny loved and lived in tie-dye T-shirts, so Donna found a website with lots of choices, so we could each have a tie-dye shirt for the service. Mine, of course, was a bright and beautiful spring green. She, grandson Kyle, and her family found pictures of Danny, and we found some here – so there were easels up with pictures of Dan all around the room. Donna had chosen a gorgeous urn – that deep green with bronze, Japanese raku.

Donna’s uncle, a Baptist minister from North Carolina, led the service. A lot of Danny’s and Donna’s and Kyle’s friends were present – well over a hundred folk, I expect. Donna had selected Dan’s and her favorite music, prepared a wonderful program, and even found a woman who embeds seeds in small paper hearts, so they can be planted outside and grow in honor of Dan.

Executives from Donna’s office had managed to find tie-dye ties to wear. And grandson Kyle had a friend tie-dye a polo shirt for him.

Many of Dan’s friends spoke, a multicultural mix with different ages coming up. Son Terry spoke about Danny saving him from drowning in the ocean, about all his memories of Dan. And then came up again a few speakers later to tell everyone how glad he was that his brother Danny was surrounded by so many great and wonderful friends in DC. Brian also spoke, giving a truly beautiful appreciation of Dan and his special qualities – especially a gift for happiness.

I was totally unable to speak, and just wept on Brian’s shoulder most of the time. After the service, Jerry, Brian, Terry and I just held on to each other in a circle. Then we got Kyle and brought him into the circle. I felt Danny surrounding and holding on to all of us.

Eddie Goldstein’s Service

The week before Danny’s service, one of Brian’s best friends was in hospice care, dying of pancreatic cancer – Brian spent most of that week with Eddie. When we flew back from DC on Sunday morning, we went straight to Eddie’s service in Northern Kentucky. It was also beautiful, and brought us back in touch with a lot of the old neighborhood.

Donna and Kyle

Life is hard for Danny’s wife, Donna (36 years of marriage!) and son Kyle, 30, now. They are working to keep the business going and to keep their lives together. Donna has quit her job and is working in DC Supply now – Danny’s (Crum – that’s the DC) plumbing supply business, where Dan was the outside guy and son Kyle was the inside guy. They are just taking it one day at a time.

Barb’s Visit

My friend Barb waited a couple of months to come in from Minneapolis, and was here last week. Another friend of hers came in from Toronto, and yet another close friend hosted us and fed us a fair bit of the time at her condo in Hyde Park. A trip to another friend’s farm, interesting shopping, talking late, late, late – and eating lots and everywhere. A great and relaxing and regenerating visit. Thanks, Barb!

Brian and I

Brian and I are spending more time together than usual – we both have very busy lives, which intersect at community / politics / development lines, but which haven’t always left us a lot of time together. We are now scheduling each other in, especially with visits to 2-1/2 month old August, and tonight to Lumenocity, Cincinnati’s special laser light celebration.

More Travails

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My Beloved Son Danny Has Left the Planet

I am so sad today and getting sadder. My beloved Danny died shortly after noon yesterday, June 12, 2016. It is so hard.

After a truly awful car /motorcycle wreck, surgeries, a coma, we had been expecting a long rehab, and facing those challenges. Instead, we are facing different challenges. Danny, his wife and his son were/are in DC. Donna and Kyle will be having a memorial service for Danny sometime in the next few weeks, so we will be flying to DC once that is set.

Our Beloved Danny

Patricia Garry and Brian Garry and family, inspired by the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva, invite you to an open time of friendship and community in memory of our beloved son and brother, Daniel Jerome Crum. We will be gathering from 4 p m to 7 p m, Thursday through Sunday, June 16 – 19, at Patricia’s home, in Eden Park / Walnut Hills. Please feel free to come when you can, and stay as long as you wish.

There’s plenty of on street parking or you can park around the circle at the Twin Lakes Overlook. There is also a parking lot next to our building that is not used nights and weeks, so feel free to park there as well.

The Travails of My Oldest Son, Danny

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The Travails of My Oldest Son Danny

On Mother?s Day, May 8, 2016, son Danny called me from his car, as he and his wife were driving to downtown DC to a concert by the Danish group, Lukas Graham. Danny?s wife, Donna, had won the tickets, and they were to have their pictures taken with the band before the concert. We talked most of the way through the drive, then while driving around the venue to get the lay of the land and see the size of the crowd, and then through the process of finding a parking place. A fun conversation, with Dan saying at the end, as always ? ByeI Love You, running it all together.

The next Sunday morning, the 15th, I woke at 6 a m with a dream in my head that I titled Trekking in Nepal ? to get to safety. A very strange dream ? Many, many people walking into the mountains in Nepal. Men, women and children walking along trails, carrying nothing. Nepali volunteers at the trailheads, giving people a meal before they start. Then walking ? some of the trail is good, some is treacherous. Mostly green, beautiful ? but we are walking away from something not good. If you are not up and moving early, you can miss the meal. I am walking with a group of people I know. That night, I set out a glass to catch a liquid / the dew? It rains overnight. The glass has caught the brown liquid, but the rain has diluted and overflowed the glass. And I slept too late and missed the food.

I was totally puzzled, had no sense at all of the meaning. But Nepal is a wonderful home place for me, and I have missed it since my only trip there years ago.

My friend Ed Kluska, an astrologer who also teaches meditation, had announced a Theta heart meditation class for 1:30 to 2:15 p m that afternoon. At just about 1 pm, I decided to give myself a welcome break and attend. I left there, feeling very much in the flow of the Universe, stopping at Clifton Natural Foods on the way home.

And just about the time I walked back into my condo here in Cincinnati, a young woman in Washington, D. C. ran her car into my beautiful son Danny on his motorcycle, not paying any attention on that beautiful and clear and dry Sunday afternoon, and not seeing him at all.

Danny had a great state of the art helmet, and thus no brain injury. Plus the wreck was half a block from a fire station, so EMTs were on the scene in minutes, and Prince Georges Hospital was very close. Danny was unconscious, with a smashed pelvis, nearly destroyed left leg, and major road rash ? which is what the damage is called when skin slides over the road at a high rate of speed. Lots of other smaller injuries showed up over time ? a lacerated bladder, and kidney stress among them.

Danny had major surgeries on Monday, for the pelvis and for the left leg, which had a number of breaks. We family members here in Cincinnati heard about the wreck on Monday morning. By Tuesday evening, we ? me, my ex and our two other sons – were flying to DC. At that point, Danny was in a medically induced coma.

We spent the next seven days mostly in the waiting room of the Intensive Care Unit of Prince Georges Hospital in Hyattsville, Maryland. Danny?s medically induced coma ended on Wednesday or Thursday. But not his own personal coma, which continues. Though on Tuesday, May 31, he opened his eyes briefly, responding to his brother-in-law and his father. We were rejoicing. Then nothing more. Friday June 3, he had what hopefully will be the last surgery on his left leg. Today, Sunday, June 5, he had his eyes open and appeared to track people in the room. So we may be on the road to recovery at last.

His physical body has and is healing fast. It is amazing, though, how that fades from importance, awful as his injuries were, with this continuing coma. Most days, there has been no step forward. Now for the last several days, there has been a small step forward, and then a retreat back into the coma.

Hopefully, this week, the path to healing will solidify, so that we can see our Danny returning.

Review: The Rest of The 2016 Fringe and What I Voted For

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So I reviewed We Did It, Girl from the 2016 Cincinnati Fringe Festival when I saw it last Saturday. This week, I’ve seen more – just saw the last one I’m seeing about an hour ago. (And I swear I will get it together and do better next year – I love The Fringe!)

Other Bother was by one of my favorite groups – Performance Gallery, in an old pink church in the East End. Interesting exploratory piece, lots of creativity. Message – don’t be afraid of folks other than you, and be open to life. I really vibrated to it.

Right after that, we wandered out into the street into a parade, which turned out to be the dance group Pones, out to change the world into a better place, creating a performance in the parking lot. Love, not fear. Great dancing and creativity. Colored chalk all over everything. Great! Because it was dance, couldn’t really vote for it as the Pick of The Fringe.

Then – The Fainting Room, all about the notion of hysteria in women, and that good sex is one way to fix that. Set in the 1890’s. A one person show, creative ideas, music, very funny. Especially the ending – 2 guys in the audience end up facing each other, holding hands up in the air like a bridge. They turn out to be the vagina, and the creator ends up in a total purple suit in the middle as the vibrator.

Tonite’s performance has gotten good reviews. The Gospel of Fat Kathy – an ensemble of 2 women and 3 guys, look like teens or early 20s. One of them is God. Many many skits, yet each moving the piece forward. Tap dancing, singing, a blowjob. Lots of power in it, humor mostly muted, sadness, anger, fear, much of it featuring sex. God leaves, goes back to heaven without answering the questions. And we don’t really know if Kathy jumped off that roof or not.

So my pick of The Fringe turned out to be….. I ended up voting for We Did It, Girl.