My friend Kathleen and I really enjoyed the Sherlock Holmes play at the Playhouse last week. But at the intermission, I had an unusual experience. Having just gotten Graeter’s Bourbon Vanilla Ice Cream (not really Bourbon : > )because I love getting sweets at intermissions, but didn’t want their giant brownies, I was standing up the steps a bit and looking down….
I looked at the nearly all white well-dressed crowd – and realized that I didn’t see anyone that I wanted to have a conversation with.
Unusually for me anywhere in Cincinnati, I didn’t see anyone I know except for friend Kathleen. But that wasn’t really it. As I try to understand this feeling, I’m called back to the only time we lived in the suburbs, back in the early 60s. Party conversations seemed to be limited to sports, clothes, kids’ schools and diets. So I never had much to say, or much that I wanted to listen to. That is definitely a part of this feeling.
I could definitely feel love for the Playhouse crowd, something I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have even considered feeling way back in the day. My heart swelled, and I could definitely feel a loving connection.
But I guess in a way I felt I already knew them, knew their concerns, their fears, their lives. And I knew that I would help if anyone asked – with my intuitive abilities, my Reiki healing abilities, or more physical assistance, as needed.
But if there had not been the last half of the play, rather than stay I would have slipped out the door and down the steps, to disappear quietly in the night. There was literally nothing there for me in all that crowd.
I am allowing these thoughts and feelings to flow and mingle through me until I understand them better, and / or am reconciled to them. Will report back as this state of gentle cognitive dissonance rights itself.