Patricia Garry

Sending Danny to Charlotte

By

Last night, as I was settling into ‘my’ couch at MillerGardette, preparing for the City Silence meditation, I took one last look at my phone, and saw that the protester who had been shot, perhaps by another civilian, in Charlotte on Wednesday night, had just died.

As Kathryne was telling us to take a gentle breath and the Silence began, I sent my son Danny, who left the planet on June 12 of this year, to Charlotte to welcome this man, this protester, to heaven / the other side / the place of recalling and the place of new beginnings. The feeling that prompted my sending Danny was my understanding that many folks arrive, particularly when death is sudden and violent, in a confused state – and that Danny’s sturdy and gentle presence could help ease his transition.

The bare details in the New York Times this morning are that his name was Justin Carr and that he was 26. You are in a place of love, openness and forgiveness, Justin. All is well. And thank you, Danny, so much, for being with Justin – and with me. xoxox

Further Travails

By

Danny’s Foot

My other two sons and I, plus their father (who actually was there a week longer), spent a week in DC’s Prince Georges Hospital, mostly in the Critical Care waiting room, after Dan’s accident. On our second last day, Dan was moved upstairs to a sort of step down unit. The waiting room was worse, but the hospital room gave us more time and privacy. We had been talking to Danny all the time, but now there was not a room full of folk and tons of equipment around.

Brian and I were starting conversations with him – Bri noticed Dan’s left foot moving, and started asking questions about a plumbing problem he had been working on. Dan was signalling yes with his left foot, so Bri switched to yes / no questions. After that problem was solved, I started telling Dan about the new baby arriving soon in the family – Patrick and Annie were expecting a baby boy, to be named August Patrick McNamara, in the next few days. I said to Dan ‘Of course, you don’t know Annie.’ His foot became very agitated, and I realized he did know Annie – he had met her the year before at Patrick’s college graduation celebration. When I said that, Dan answered with a very emphatic and strong Yes movement of his foot. That afternoon left us very hopeful.

Dan’s Planet Leaving

Dan had been in the hospital exactly 4 weeks, minus 4 hours, and was each day showing more signs of waking up. Moving his head toward the speaker, opening his eyes on command, seeming to track conversations. He had had another and final surgery on his leg, his other physical wounds were healing fast, he was mostly off the ventilator, had a stomach tube for feeding, and a tracheotomy for breathing, so he did not have all that apparatus around his neck and face.

Donna was researching rehab centers, and we were making plans to return to DC, expecting a long rehab therapy program for Dan. Sunday morning, June 12, right about noon, Danny, still in a coma, reached up to his throat – probably a tickle or the feeling of a cough – and pulled out his trach. The staff could not get it back in. And just like that, our beloved Danny was gone from the planet.

It was awful – and even more awful having to tell folk. I really appreciated Facebook for making it faster and easier.

Danny’s Memorial Service

Danny’s Memorial was held just outside of northeast DC where he lived (Riverside, College Park, Cheverley, Lanham) on Saturday, June 25. The night before, most of Donna’s family and those of us from Cincinnati, had dinner at one of Dan’s favorite places, and the lunch following the service was at another such place, where Kyle’s college graduation celebration had been held.

Danny loved and lived in tie-dye T-shirts, so Donna found a website with lots of choices, so we could each have a tie-dye shirt for the service. Mine, of course, was a bright and beautiful spring green. She, grandson Kyle, and her family found pictures of Danny, and we found some here – so there were easels up with pictures of Dan all around the room. Donna had chosen a gorgeous urn – that deep green with bronze, Japanese raku.

Donna’s uncle, a Baptist minister from North Carolina, led the service. A lot of Danny’s and Donna’s and Kyle’s friends were present – well over a hundred folk, I expect. Donna had selected Dan’s and her favorite music, prepared a wonderful program, and even found a woman who embeds seeds in small paper hearts, so they can be planted outside and grow in honor of Dan.

Executives from Donna’s office had managed to find tie-dye ties to wear. And grandson Kyle had a friend tie-dye a polo shirt for him.

Many of Dan’s friends spoke, a multicultural mix with different ages coming up. Son Terry spoke about Danny saving him from drowning in the ocean, about all his memories of Dan. And then came up again a few speakers later to tell everyone how glad he was that his brother Danny was surrounded by so many great and wonderful friends in DC. Brian also spoke, giving a truly beautiful appreciation of Dan and his special qualities – especially a gift for happiness.

I was totally unable to speak, and just wept on Brian’s shoulder most of the time. After the service, Jerry, Brian, Terry and I just held on to each other in a circle. Then we got Kyle and brought him into the circle. I felt Danny surrounding and holding on to all of us.

Eddie Goldstein’s Service

The week before Danny’s service, one of Brian’s best friends was in hospice care, dying of pancreatic cancer – Brian spent most of that week with Eddie. When we flew back from DC on Sunday morning, we went straight to Eddie’s service in Northern Kentucky. It was also beautiful, and brought us back in touch with a lot of the old neighborhood.

Donna and Kyle

Life is hard for Danny’s wife, Donna (36 years of marriage!) and son Kyle, 30, now. They are working to keep the business going and to keep their lives together. Donna has quit her job and is working in DC Supply now – Danny’s (Crum – that’s the DC) plumbing supply business, where Dan was the outside guy and son Kyle was the inside guy. They are just taking it one day at a time.

Barb’s Visit

My friend Barb waited a couple of months to come in from Minneapolis, and was here last week. Another friend of hers came in from Toronto, and yet another close friend hosted us and fed us a fair bit of the time at her condo in Hyde Park. A trip to another friend’s farm, interesting shopping, talking late, late, late – and eating lots and everywhere. A great and relaxing and regenerating visit. Thanks, Barb!

Brian and I

Brian and I are spending more time together than usual – we both have very busy lives, which intersect at community / politics / development lines, but which haven’t always left us a lot of time together. We are now scheduling each other in, especially with visits to 2-1/2 month old August, and tonight to Lumenocity, Cincinnati’s special laser light celebration.

More Travails

By

My Beloved Son Danny Has Left the Planet

I am so sad today and getting sadder. My beloved Danny died shortly after noon yesterday, June 12, 2016. It is so hard.

After a truly awful car /motorcycle wreck, surgeries, a coma, we had been expecting a long rehab, and facing those challenges. Instead, we are facing different challenges. Danny, his wife and his son were/are in DC. Donna and Kyle will be having a memorial service for Danny sometime in the next few weeks, so we will be flying to DC once that is set.

Our Beloved Danny

Patricia Garry and Brian Garry and family, inspired by the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva, invite you to an open time of friendship and community in memory of our beloved son and brother, Daniel Jerome Crum. We will be gathering from 4 p m to 7 p m, Thursday through Sunday, June 16 – 19, at Patricia’s home, in Eden Park / Walnut Hills. Please feel free to come when you can, and stay as long as you wish.

There’s plenty of on street parking or you can park around the circle at the Twin Lakes Overlook. There is also a parking lot next to our building that is not used nights and weeks, so feel free to park there as well.

A First Look at Donald vs Hillary – Kluska Workshop

By

Cincinnati Astrologer Ed Kluska gave a workshop this afternoon: Trump vs. Hillary ? A First Look

These lines are my interpretation of Ed?s discussion: Given the overall planetary action, there will be plenty of surprises / shifts / confusion in these next few months ? the world will keep evolving and being weird, and not just in politics.

Astrologically, The Donald, a Gemini, is more complex than Hillary. And it is really hard to be more complex than a Scorpio, particularly a double Scorpio. Donald has his sun in Gemini, his moon in Sagittarius, and his rising sign in Leo. (Sun, moon and rising are the big three in astrology.) He knows how to use the media, needs lots of attention, has great verbal skills, connects easily and well with people ? creating and running The Apprentice was the perfect place for him.
He?s creative and curious, an extrovert, not very reflective, as excited as a little kid. He loves his kids, his home, his family. On the other side – he?s impulsive, volcanic in sudden urges, needs to be more careful about honesty, his timing is often off, and, with very little earth in his chart, he has likely not accomplished a lot of what he excitedly planned to do. (I can see such a news story coming up soon.) His mind can wander, he can be foggy.

Hillary is a Scorpio, a double ? her sun is in Scorpio and so is her rising sign. As Ed said, the perfect set up for a politician or a lawyer ? and she is both. Her moon is in Pisces. Both of them have Mars in Leo – gives them lots of strength, motivation, energy. Where Donald is outward, Hillary is inward. Where he is not reflective, does not think about what he does, she is always thinking, planning, seeking understanding. Where he speaks without thinking, she is deliberate, and doesn?t speak out until ready.

She is in many ways Donald?s opposite ? she has willpower, strength, tenacity, devotion, perseverance.

Neither party?s convention will be particularly explosive ? so I?m thinking Bernie will have found a way to make nice. Hillary will be full of confidence, she will like and appreciate the attention and the support, signs are all very good for her there.

And the Republicans are not likely going to suddenly support another candidate, or start a third party. Donald wants power and they will give it to him.

Between now and the election there are very few bumps in Hillary?s way ? some problems in February, not now. Donald, on the other hand, has a chart with challenges in it now through mid-September. And again right after the election.

Ed is not ready to look at the actual election until vice presidential choices are made and that data is gathered. Plus there are other details he wants to look at more closely.

I, on the other hand, called it months ago, and will say it again. Hillary is walking away with this one. And she will, now or later, get the love and support she needs. In return, she will give us all her energy and devotion ? and be an excellent Democratic president, caring for us, the people of her beloved country.

A Wandering Day

By

Yesterday, amid all the different shifts and changes, I really wanted out, and felt that way both physically and mentally. Luckily after a pressure morning, the day opened up. But not liking those feelings, when I woke this morning, I decided not to have that kind of day again.

So I had told one group I couldn’t attend, and slowly wended my way toward the other places and events on my calendar. So an interesting, restful, wandering around day. It’s been a long time since I had one of those! But it won’t be that long til the next one.

I arrived at the Book Swap when it was nearly over – had just moved about 3,000 books when I changed my abode, and had taken many to Half Price Books and then to various library branches. So I had to blog two fairly recent reads so I had some to swap! And only picked up three to bring home, while still having having several great conversations.

– I started this on February 13 – and then wandered away from finishing, and have no idea what else I did with that wandering day.

Prasadam

By

Easter was on Saturday for our family this year – we were heading back down I-75 after that celebration when son Brian and I noticed what had to be a Hindu temple near the hotels along Chester Road. So of course we got off at the Sharonville exit to investigate!

It’s a lovely temple outside and in, brand new but very much traditional, of a pretty red brick. We were invited to come in and look around, so we did, taking off our shoes as we entered. Brian, back in the day, hung out with the Hari Krishnas, and I’ve been to India and Nepal, and hung out in several temples there.

Beautiful, peaceful, calm – lots of people, lots of kids, an interesting store full of Indian foods, books, CDs. The ornately dressed deities are always a wonder, everyone was welcoming. Having gods who are approachable, who live the same life we do, brings religion and beliefs a lot closer, makes it all much less judgmental, and easier to follow, I always feel. These temples are always comfortable, not built to intimidate or overawe, but to welcome.

We were given a box of Prasadam, Indian treats, as a gift as we left. The Inspirer is Pramukh Swami Maharaj, baps.org, if you’d like to know more.

Book Review: Refuge by Terry Tempest Williams

By

Having a cold for several days that takes away your normal energy can lead to a great catching up with the books piled on your bedside table. And thus it has been for me this week. Leading to a nice rest and lot of pleasure – if wasn’t for the coughing here at the end of the cold.

I am not sure when or where I found Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place, by Terry Tempest Williams. Perhaps it was when my friend Alicia closed her wonderful bookstore on Woodburn Avenue last summer, and I just filled a big green bag with every book that caught my eye. Or perhaps I was just wandering somewhere and it leapt into my hands – amazing how often that happens!

At any rate – this is a wonderful book, first published in 1991 and then updated in 2001. It is a sad story – Terry’s loss of her mother, grandmother, great grandmother to cancer. Turns out there is a very big downside to the U S Government’s A-bomb tests in the Western deserts. So the guys in her family are living longer than the women – breast cancer, uterine cancer, other cancers are taking the women. The love the women express for each other is beauty and poetry lived and died.

It is a beautiful and detailed story of the marshlands at the Great Salt Lake, and the hundreds of thousands of birds who bring life to the area. With sadness there, too – the degradation, the engineers fixing problems, the drop in numbers of birds in that wonderful area.

And a transfixing story of how Mormon women are also waking up to what their culture has done to them, even while they still love their religion.

I know I will have to check out Wiki about what Terry is doing now, and the current condition of the Great Salt Lake and its marshes – as well as the progress of growth and change in the Mormon church and its women members. So this will definitely lead to more reading – hopefully with Terry as the author – what a great idea!

Walking the Steps on Good Friday

By

A good day at the office, the first day since our big event when I could breathe, catch up and plan. We got the memberships out into the world – hurray!

Son Brian called late afternoon, reminded me that it was Good Friday. The last several years, we have walked the steps at Holy Cross / Immaculata in Mt Adams. The tradition is to pray the rosary as we walk. Lots of Cincinnati does it – the line can wind and wind up and down and around the hill. Some folk start at the very bottom – near Eastern Avenue. Some start at the base of Mt Adams. And some of us start at the end of the last segment.

It was great – Brian and I had a chance to de-brief after the election – we hadn’t really had a chance to talk over the great race he ran, and what is next. Once you are on the steps themselves, though, and no longer on the sidewalk, no talking. There’s a tableful of rosaries just at the bottom – pick one up and start the steps. I love the fact of being out in nature in the early spring, the sunshine, the rhythm of the crowd as it moves from step to step, the sound of the birds. The meditation, the letting go.

At the top, we went to the parish fish fry – my dinner was french fries and coleslaw – with ketchup and tartar sauce. Ran into several friends – as always in this big small town. Life is good – and getting better and better.

One Particular Homeopathic Remedy

By

I love homeopathy – have for maybe 20 years. It is a branch of medicine which believes that like cures like (using, for instance, a bee stinger to make a remedy for bee stings, or a hot stinging sensation), and that the smallest possible dose is probably the best. ‘In other words, a treatment should be similar to the ailment, or to substances which may aggravate the symptoms in large doses. This concept is similar to that which is manipulated in influenza vaccinations in Western medicine in which a small amount of the influenza virus is injected into the body to build resistance in the immune system. Most homeopathic cures require small, diluted doses, and only one remedy is meant to be used at a time for various ailments.’ Homeopathic pellets are incredibly tiny. There are not side effects with homeopathy. To most scientists, there is nothing in a homeopathic remedy that could even be effective or produce side effect.

I was at Whole Foods last week, looking for a couple of remedies I like to keep on hand, and another one entirely bumped into me. So, of course, me being me, I trusted that and brought it home. And just googled it. It’s called phosphoricum acidum – which means an acid made using phosphorus. (Homeopathy brings with it a whole new language, and new concepts.)

Here is one description of what it works on – ‘a homeopathic medicine ideal for curing poor concentration due to overwork’. Here’s another – ‘Phosphoric acid has several uses outside of the realm of homeopathy as well. In the past, it has been used as a digestive stimulant. It may help reduce elevated calcium levels in potential cancer patients, fight against hair loss and diabetes, prevent digestive tract-related dehydration, and provide relief in children suffering from growing pains.’

And another –
‘Phosphoric acid may help alleviate lethargy and listlessness.
Phosphoricum acidum is used as a homeopathic treatment for people suffering great emotional distress.
Those suffering from grief may benefit from phosphoricum acidum.
Phosphoricum acidum is sometimes used to treat apathy.
Phosphoric acid is sometimes used in homeopathy to combat mental and physical exhaustion.
A homeopathic practitioner may recommend phosphoricum acidum to help the grief associated with loss of a loved one.
Homeopaths may recommend phosphoricum acidum to cure mental and physical exhaustion.
Phosphoric acid may be used to fight against hair loss and diabetes.’

And more – ‘The substance known in the scientific world as phosphoric acid is known in the world of homeopathic medicine as phosphoricum acidum. This man-manipulated mineral is used in small doses as a home herbal remedy to treat emotional ailments resulting from stress and exhaustion, such as apathy, listlessness, grief, and others. It is used for certain physical ailments as well, and is an important ingredient in various manufacturing industries.’

‘Phosphoricum acidum is extracted from phosphorous. In nature, phosphorous is found as apatite, a crystal-like substance found in certain types of rocks. When sulfuric acid and calcium phosphate are combined, phosphoric acid is produced.’

‘Of the many ailments phosphoricum acidum is meant to cure in homeopathic medicine, many result from stress. Mental and physical exhaustion, apathy, grief, insomnia coupled with fatigue, lethargy, and listlessness are all treated with phosphoric acid. It is believed that the initial tell-tale symptoms of these ailments include appetite loss, a thirst for sweet or fruity tasting beverages, difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, and cold sweats.’

I have been pushing very hard this year, since I am retiring at the end of the year, and want to leave everything in good order when I do. And there have been several stresses, plus lots going on at one time in all the different parts of my fairly complex life. It’s all good and fun, but sometimes pushes that 24/7 boundary which our world (and my body) runs on.

So there is enough in these various descriptions for me to thank The Universe for helping that little tube get noticed by me. I’ll let you know how it goes. Homeopathy usually works amazingly fast.

Ed Kluska’s 2016 Forecasts

By

Astrologer Ed Kluska held his 2016 Forecasts Workshop today – he is calling this The Year of Uncertainty, with Saturn and Neptune having strong and unpredictable effects. The big deals this year are Neptune in Pisces, Pluto in Capricorn, Uranus in Aries, and Jupiter in Virgo.

Key learnings – if you want to start something early in the year, now is the time to do it. Or wait until September to the end of the year. This whole year is tricky for us mutables, and the most tricky for us Geminis!

This year will be like a pause in movement the forward movement we’ve all been seeing – the worst is over, but the best is not yet here.